it is the legal, romantic, hopefully sexual union of two individuals, period, the end. they get to write their own ticket and vows. they can, you know, assume in their relationship and marriage, all the things they expect a marriage to be. they can be very different. marriage is very subjective and interesting and new. redefined by straight people. >> do you think that our political culture and social life and media have -- in the same way we have moved toward enlightment, it strikes me when we have moments like petraeus, that there seems no movement in certain ways about the way we think about sex in public life, particularly in those moments when you have sex scandals. >> i wish we would get more french more fast. the appalling thing is the fbi without warrants digging through e-mails. >> let me stop you there. there is a sense that if you were in a monogamous relationship and there's an understanding, it's a bad thing to do. >> it is a bad thing to do, but a common thing. if the fbi can kick in your front door if you do that, a lot of people should be nervous. 40% of